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The librarian said, “That rings a bell but I don’t know if it’s here or not.”. A guy walks in to library and asks for a book on sea turtles. The librarian asks, “Hard back?”. The guy replies, “Yeah, little heads too.”. A woman walks into a library and asks if they had any books about paranoia.Let's choose 35+ funny goodbye one liners quotes. The act of saying goodbye is not always straightforward ; the very notion of it makes one sad and wanting . But plenty of comical quotations may be used to ease the pain of saying goodbye , from cheesy proverbs to sayings that bid you farewell in a lighthearted manner . These quotes can help you ...Day 2. I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: "Ayn Rand." Jesus Christ. I breakfast alone ...Alcohol one liners. Transitional age is when during a hot day you don't know what you want - ice cream or beer. 88.53 % / 3019 votes. That one liner 'i'm not drinking too much tonight' never goes as planned... 86.48 % / 3780 votes. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.Jun 27, 2023 · Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. Tap To Copy.Desi Fathers Day l Desi humor l Bollywood one liner l Indian dialogue l Sarcastic quote l Desi Dad l South Asian l Unisex Softstyle T-Shirt (62) $ 19.87. Add to Favorites ... Funny One Liner Shirt, Motivational Shirt, Funny Gift Idea, Party Shirt, Clever Shirt, Witty Shirt, Joke ShirtStop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! 80.56 % / 347 votes. I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand. 80.45 % / 481 votes. Absolutely hillarious political one-liners! The largest collection of political one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors.With a significant other, anything goes as long as you are not disrespectful. If they don't marry you because of how you say "hello," they are not the one for you. 'Ello, mate. Heeey, baaaaaby. Hi, honeybunch!An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true. One liner tags: attitude, life, motivational. 81.68 % / 604 votes. share. God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems. One liner tags: attitude, God, life, motivational. 81.66 % / 1386 votes.Aug 31, 2015 - Explore Mrugna Gandhi's board "sarcastic one liners" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, bones funny, sarcastic one liners.College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back. One liner tags: kids, money, sarcastic, school. 80.61 % / 434 votes. share. In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact. One liner tags: communication, school, time. 80.41 % / 193 votes. share.The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question." One liner tags: communication, family, IT, sarcastic. 81.26 % / 473 votes. Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married and live together so I'd have to see them every day. One liner tags: family, kids, sarcastic, time.Funny Borat TShirt, Humor Adult Men's Women's Gift T Shirt, Adults TEE, Couple's TOP, Unisex Crewneck T-Shirt, Very Nice Soft Style Clothing. (21) $13.19. $16.49 (20% off) The Legendary Dad: Master of Fixes and Hilarious One-Liners. Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee, Fathers Day Gift. (7)Short & Sweet Funny Mother's Day Quotes. 1. "Mom, I love you, even though I'll never accept your friend request." — Anonymous. 2. "If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to do it from the start." — Anonymous. 3.He/she/they want to know if you think I'm cute. I think I saw you on Spotify, as the hottest single of the year. I think there's something wrong with my phone. Your number's not in it. You're so ...

87.62 % / 1796 votes. share. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk". One liner tags: beauty, communication, love, sarcastic. 82.35 % / 1423 votes. share. My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."When my husband decided to up our income by creating an OnlyFans, it really took a load off my back. 9 3. u/mikeshumor. • 4 days ago. The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take your income and add twenty percent. 19 3. r/oneliners.Sarcastic Quotes. 1. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”. – Steven Wright. 2. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”. 3. “I am not young enough to know everything.”.Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It counts as a vegetable! One liner tags: alcohol, food, motivational, sarcastic, St. Patrick's Day. 50.26 % / 190 votes. They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress. One liner tags: animal, political, sarcastic, St. Patrick's Day. 50.23 % / 3001 votes.This sarcastic quotes about love feature reminds us that some people just can't be understood in life, love, or math. "I'm a real sweetheart…and a real smartass. It's a package deal.". We can't all just be cute and sweet. Some of us have to be sassy and smartassy. This is great, there is a lid for every pot as they say!

We expect signs to give us important information, like warnings about what to anticipate when we’re driving or location signs to tell us where we are. However, some people have com...Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. You'll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts.…

Reader Q&A - also see RECOMMENDED ARTICLES & FAQs. Get ready to laugh out loud with our collection of 50 hilario. Possible cause: Aug 28, 2023 · A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly rema.